By Nyanzi Martin Luther
Fondling among students in secondary schools is becoming a worrying issue. Some learners have been caught engaging in these acts and ended up suspended or expelled. But as we blame the students and the schools take disciplinary action, we need to ask ourselves a simple question: where are the parents?
Many learners begin experiencing changes during adolescence, especially around Senior Two. They develop feelings for the opposite sex and start becoming curious about relationships. There is nothing unusual about these feelings because they are part of growing up. The problem comes when students begin engaging in fondling without understanding the consequences or respecting the rules set by their schools.
Parents need to understand that children do not learn everything at school. Unfortunately, some parents have left almost the entire responsibility of raising their children to teachers. They pay school fees, buy uniforms and provide other necessities, then expect the school to take care of everything else, including discipline and morals.
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But how do you expect a school to completely teach your child morals when that child spends only about eight hours there? What happens during the remaining hours when the child is at home or elsewhere? A teacher cannot be with your child all the time, and it is unfair to expect schools to do everything that parents have neglected.
A child needs guidance at home before joining a school. Parents should be the first people to explain the changes that come with adolescence, how to behave around the opposite sex and why certain actions are inappropriate. When parents remain silent about these matters, children often turn to their friends for advice. The problem is that those friends may know just as little as they do.
Another challenge is that some students think they are already adults and know everything. They do not want to listen to their teachers, and they take school rules as if they are meant to punish them. Some believe that because they are in a relationship, they can do whatever they want with their partners. They forget that being in a relationship does not mean ignoring school rules or crossing another person’s boundaries.
This behaviour can have serious consequences. A student caught fondling another learner may face suspension or even expulsion, depending on the circumstances and the school’s rules. Such punishment can interrupt their education and affect their future. Yet some of these cases could be prevented if parents took time to talk to their children before things went wrong.
Schools also have a responsibility to guide students and maintain discipline. However, teachers cannot do this work alone. Parents should cooperate with school administrators instead of only appearing when their children have been punished. By then, the damage may already have been done.
It is not enough to tell children to go to school and expect them to return home as responsible people. Parents must take an interest in their friendships, behaviour and the challenges they face as they grow up. They should not be afraid to discuss sensitive matters simply because their children are still young. In fact, that is the time they need such guidance most.
We should also remember that not every relationship between a boy and a girl is wrong. Young people can be friends without engaging in inappropriate behaviour. What matters is teaching them boundaries, respect and the importance of concentrating on their education.
An opportunity lost is never gained. When a student is suspended or expelled, the time lost may be difficult to recover. Parents who want their children to succeed must therefore take their responsibilities seriously before a school calls them over misconduct.
The truth is that a school can teach your child many things, but it cannot replace you as a parent. If we want to reduce fondling in schools, parents must stop leaving everything to teachers. The responsibility of raising a child begins at home, not at the school gate.
written by @enock katamba
- Enock Katamba is a Ugandan Journalist and Founder of Uncovered UG, an independent digital news platform covering Uganda and international developments. He reports on politics, national affairs, entertainment, sports, business, education and other stories of public interest.
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